


Leathered

by kyradvb



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 15:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14897225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyradvb/pseuds/kyradvb
Summary: Robert has a bad day.





	Leathered

_He sacked him and **he leathered me** **.**_

It isn't often that Robert is shaken awake by a bad dream, but he does have days that it happens. Sometimes he can only vaguely remember the dream, and all the thoughts are gone before breakfast, but today he isn't so lucky. He wakes up with the memory of what happened on his mind, seeing it happening live in the dream he had just a second ago.

He can't face himself in the mirror and when he does look up, he feels an unsettling feeling in his stomach. Disappointment? Disgust? Robert doesn't know.

After a long shower and slowly dressing himself, he forces himself downstairs. Barely managing a smile, he greets Liv who is getting ready for school. She greets him back and then looks up, and Robert thinks she might know that he isn't feeling to well.

"How are ya?" Liv asks looking him in the eye.

"Fine, you?" Robert answers, directing the question towards her. He would do so normally, but now it feels forced. Probably because he puts so much thought on it.

It is like his head can't stop overthinking everything on days like these.

"Good," Liv answers, still looking him in the eye and then shrugging a bit, probably to herself, and continues getting ready. He doesn't know whether she really thought he was fine or just let it slide, but he is grateful.

"Have you eaten breakfast already?" Robert asks her, genuinely caring.

"Yes," Liv answers, looking at her phone now, before looking back at Robert. "Made too much, so left some scrambled eggs for you and Aaron in the pan. I need to go now or I will miss the buss, and I do not feel like walking. Bye."

She quickly leaves, giving a small wave and walking out of the front door. Robert let's the forced ghost of a smile off of his face and sighs to himself, sitting down on the couch.

He just feels tired. He is thinking about maybe going back to bed, just stay there for the day but decides against it. It is Aaron's free day, and if Robert goes back in bed while he is meant to be at work, Aaron will worry. He shouldn't have to spend too much thought on Robert on his free day. Not when he also has Seb to look after already.

Robert stands up again and walks towards the scrambled eggs Liv left. One look at them and he feels nausea settle in his stomach. Instead of grabbing some of the scrambled eggs, he settles for a cup of coffee. Two cups. Three cups.

And a coffee to go at Cafe Main Street.

Robert arrives at the Scrapyard and heads to the toilet. Above the sink situated next to the toilet, he sees himself in the mirror. The feeling in his stomach comes back. There are huge bags under his eyes. That explains why Bob looked worried when he handed him his coffee.

Sitting down on the chair at his desk, Robert starts to work. And really, he is trying to get something done, but after fifteen minutes his thoughts are drifting off.

_He just didn't want a son like me._

This is a thought that shoots through his head a lot, not only after a certain dream. It happens on his birthday, on his father's birthday. It happens when he walks past something in Emmerdale that reminds him of his dad, when Vic mentions how proud his dad would be.

It is a thought that he has taught himself to shrug off, but today he can't. His head is just too full with  _everything_.

_Married, Robert! We're supposed to be married._

Robert flinches at that thought. It's so fresh, it can't be buried away. It can't be shrugged off.

No, Robert thinks. He is not going to allow himself to self-pity. He caused this, he is responsible, so he should deal with it.

But he can't. Not today. Today is too much.

The overthinking continues. He cheated, he got Rebecca pregnant, he deserved the feeling that came with it. He killed Katie, yes it was an accident, but he is responsible, he deserves the aftermath. He went into his room with a boy and kissed him, his dad caught him, he deserved the punch.

That is when Robert stops himself. No. He won't allow himself to feel bad about his sexuality, a part of him, that his dad couldn't accept. The non-acceptance isn't on him.

The day after that goes so slow, too slow. Robert can't think, because there are too much thoughts, and so he doesn't get any work done. He is just happy that no one else is at the Scrapyard today, or he would have had to explain himself.

He finally heads home, vision almost blurry from exhaustion and no concentration when he drives. He is a bit surprised when he get's home. Not because he thought he would crash or anything, which wouldn't be a surprise with all the car accidents that had happened in his life  _Max, Andy, Aaron_ but because he didn't notice that he had driven all the way home already before he pulled into the driveway.

When he get's out of the carm he is shaking.

When he goes through the front door, there are tears in his eyes.

When he spots Aaron on the couch cuddling with Seb, a smile forms on his face.

When Aaron looks at him worried asking what is wrong, the smile falls from his face.

_Just hurry up and die already._

And Robert breaks down.

He just sobs and cries and tries to tell Aaron what is going on. That he has a bad day, but that Aaron shouldn't worry. He is pretty sure the words aren't coming out and if they are, they aren't understandable.

Within a few seconds, which felt like hours, there are two strong hands on both of his arms. He feels the hands guarding him down, making him sit on the ground with his back against the wall. Robert keeps on sobbing and hears Aaron talk to him, but he can't hear what he is saying. The thoughts are too loud, the sobs are too loud, both of them making it so that Aaron's voice is too soft for him to hear it properly.

And then he feels the hands that were holding his arms move to his cheeks, his face cupped in them. The thoughts stop and it is quiet, except for Robert's own sobs which slowly turn into soft crying. He can finally look through his eyes again and sees Aaron in front of him with a worried look on his face, Liv standing a few feet away looking scared.

"Rob, you with me?" Aaron asks, looking Robert in the eye. Robert nods, not trusting his voice yet.

"I need you to say it, baby," Aaron pleads with Robert. "I need 100% confirmation you are here again."

Robert speaks up. "Yes," His voice sounds hoarse, as if he had been screaming. Maybe he had? He isn't sure.

Aaron seems to deflate in a bit of relief, but keeps his eyes on Robert's.

"Liv," Aaron starts, not looking at her. "Could you take Seb upstairs for me? I will come up in a few minutes."

Robert doesn't hear Liv's answer, but sees her moving to grab Seb and then sees her and Seb disappearing up the stairs. In this moment he lost eye contact with Aaron and Aaron calls out to him again.

"Rob, don't blank out on me again, okay?"

The plead he heard in Aaron's voice made him shoot his eyes back to him.

Aaron gives him a soft smile. "Let's move you to the couch, yeah, I think that would be more comfortable."

Robert doesn't move, so Aaron pulls him up. When Robert is standing, Aaron can see him shake on his legs. He moves him to the couch quickly, scared that he might fall otherwise. When Robert sits, he can't help but ask him right away.

"Rob, what happened?"

It does not make Robert break down, but does start the soft crying up again. It takes a few minutes before he is sure that he can answer.

"It just, it all just, it became too much for a second. You don't need to worry."

Aaron almost snorts. "Obviously I do. Rob, you know that wasn't healthy right? That wasn't crying when you are just sad or upset. That was worse."

Robert searches for Aaron's eyes and when he meets them he sees a lot of emotions he can't place. His thoughts drift back to this morning again. "Sorry. Sorry if you are disappointed or disgusted."

Aaron's eyes now just look alarmed. "S-Sorry? What do you mean Robert. What do you have to be sorry for?"

"Sorry to Rebecca for knocking her up. Sorry to Katie for playing a roll in her death."

Robert doesn't mean for it to come it. He means to say don't worry, I will be fine. But he can't stop himself when it does come out.

"Sorry to you for cheating. Sorry to my dad for not being the son he wanted."

This is what Aaron's softens at. "Oh Rob, oh baby. No. Don't let yourself go there."

"I already am there," Robert answers, his voice cracking. "And sorry, I don't want to bother you with it. With you already having to take care of Liv, deal with Gerry's death, take care of Seb and having to go to therapy."

"Rob," Aaron starts. "Please don't ever think you can't come to me. We keep talking, remember?"

_We keep talking, we work it out. Together._

This thought being replaced by the next.

_You left me. And I lost my husband, I lost my best friend and I lost my home._

Too much, it all is getting too much again. 

"Talk to me Robert, please. Remember when you said that you had to be the strong one all the time? You don't. I am the one that is going to be strong for us both right now. But for that I need you to talk to me."

"Can't," Robert answers shortly and Aaron sighs.

"How about this deal. We are going to talk about it, but not now," Aaron can see that Robert wouldn't be able to. "Tomorrow, in two days, when you feel like you can. Rob, I love you."

_You are a disaster. You're smug and you're arrogant and you're cocky. You have terrible taste in music and you dance worse than Paddy and that is saying something, but I've got nothing to figure out, okay. I know you, I know exactly what I am getting myself into. And you've tried so hard for me and for the people that you love and not everybody sees that, but I do. You got me to talk about Gordon. Then you listened to me and then you got me through the impossible. And Liv, my little sister, you found her. You found my little sister, you. And even though she drove you nuts and reported you to the police, you took her in as your own. You saved my life, you got me out of that car in that water and you saved my life. And then you plan this mental wedding, you build us a home and you got me out of prison early. And then you told me the truth about Rebecca instead of trying to hide it. And then you stepped up for your son and you fought for him. And you loved him. And you loved me. And you loved me like nobody has before. So please Robert, will you just come home with me? And let me help you this time._

**Let me help you.**

"Let me help you, Rob,"

"Okay," Robert answers. "Okay."

And somehow after that, Aaron manages to get them both upstairs and Robert in bed. He leaves Robert's and his own clothes on and lays next to him. He strokes his hands through Robert's hair _l_ _ike his mom used to_ and gives him small kisses on his forehead. Robert doesn't know how he is going to talk about this to Aaron, but the worries quickly drift away as he does in a peaceful sleep.

And when Aaron sees a smile on Robert's face, one that looks real, he can't help but smile too.


End file.
